Tips voor het omgaan met een 'gemengd' vegan/vega/omni gezin

Veganisme en religie/spiritualiteit. Filosofie. En andere onderwerpen mbt veganisme.

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Lid geworden op: di mei 22, 2012 14:11

Tips voor het omgaan met een 'gemengd' vegan/vega/omni gezin

Bericht door Raynak » za jul 12, 2014 11:06

Ik kwam deze laatst tegen:

7 Tips for Dealing with Split Veg/Omni Families: ... i-families

Ik vond het zelf wel een nuttige blog voor iedereen die leeft met een 'gemengd' vegan/vega/omni gezin (of partner).

"If you live in a split household and feel like you're letting yourself and your family down by not "forcing" the veg issue; if your quiet acceptance of others' omni ways makes you feel complacent; if, despite your familiy being understanding about your choices, you wish they'd join you, but you don't want to push or cause scenes, here are some thoughts and suggestions to ease the struggle.


If you're going to be in an omni family, you really have to wrap your head around what Psychology 101 tells us: you can't change others, you can only change yourself. Applied to any relationship—familial, business, or otherwise, this doesn't mean giving up or being soft, but navigating the terrain wisely. Trust me, I'm still wrapping my own head around the excruciatingly inarguable rationality of the underlying lesson.


1. Wait for it.
If a family member is unwilling, or not ready to absorb the motives for veganism (and the most hardcore bar-none animal activist I know will tell you the same), nothing you do in one moment will change their minds (insert your sense of urgency here, it's okay). Something inside the other must click—and maybe someday it will, especially with you as a leading example.

2. Don't complain, don't criticize.
Oh heaven help us, I know it's hard to hold your tongue. But seriously, does either ever do any good? Unless you're going to break up a marriage for your beliefs (as one woman did, saying of an already-troubled marriage, "Though I think of myself as a very accommodating and understanding person, in the end, I could not come to terms with the deep chasm of disparity regarding the obvious underlying moral issues."), the most practical next step to maintaining peace and harmony in an omni family is to live your beliefs without arguing them. What other choice is there?

3. Stop policing.
You can't force anyone to go veg. Even if your spouse and kids enjoy your vegan cooking, they'll eat animal products if they want to (maybe most respectfully, behind your back?). Policing will only create conflict, resentment, and rebellion in your household. Grown vegan kids—who have stayed vegan—have told me that the worst thing their parents could have done would have been to force the issue when they were young. Straight from the horse's mouth! Take this to heart and stop driving yourself crazy. If you're trying to raise veg kids but they don't get it yet, then they don't get it yet! All there is to it. Refer to #1 and #7.

4. Keep YOUR values sacred.
Just like no can be forced to go vegan, you shouldn't feel obliged to purchase or cook animal products if it's against your morals and values. If you truly believe in the motives underlying your own veganism (do you?), don't compromise your values. When your spouse and kids choose to eat meat, you don't have to have anything to do with it. You might even ask them to use separate cookware if sharing bothers you. If you don't want to smell fish cooking, go see a movie and let them eat without you. You're not punishing them, but taking care of your own need.

5. Keep your values sacred (part II).
If you're buying grass-fed organic meat and dairy for your family members just so they won't go out and eat even worse stuff, you're sending the message that you're only half-hearted about your veg motives (in which case you wouldn't feel torn in the first place). You might think that veganism is a choice your kids should someday make on their own terms, but if you, yourself, don't take your purchases seriously, don't expect the values to suddenly occur to your children when they're "old enough to decide." My mom was a meat-cooking, quiet vegetarian my entire life and I thought of her choice as nothing more than a taste preference until I discovered the motives in my 20s through more vocal vegans.

6. Show, don't tell.
Chances are, you're the Executive Director of Grocery Shopping & Dining. Hello! YOU get to plan all the healthy, nutrient-filled menus you want! Instead of flailing your gavel and suddenly laying down the law, simply begin to change the menu. Don't say it, just do it.

7. Be awesome.
Nothing makes veganism more attractive than a happy, healthy, excited diplomat. Wave around your green juice like you're having the best time ever, contribute your best vegan cookies to the family reunion, wear vegan statement T-shirts, bring your kids to sanctuaries instead of zoos, and continue the conversation as you attract it. Whenever you feel frustrated or "complacent," go do something for animals—donate, volunteer, etc. Be an example, you're planting seeds!"

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